I Would Do It Again

I am back from my trip. Was it worth it? The short answer is, Yes!

I wrote this short report for In the Gap, the ministry that I partnered with, and I didn't like how it turned out...I felt like I said a lot of words, but didn't really convey what I wanted to.

"I knew that God wanted me here at Operation IMPACT, but I felt totally unfit, unprepared, and unable. From day one, I was sure I was in over my head. But I knew that God was with me, and that it really wasn't my job to pull it off on my own. He is the One at work, and He has invited me to be a part of it. The biggest lesson the Lord has taught me through it all is to fully give Him all that I am and all that I have. I'm to rest in His sufficiency, and let Him work through me. 

Whether sleep deprived, or faced with a team situation I don't know how to solve, or put in charge of a rowdy group of children I don't know how to control, I know God is always the answer. It's easy to try to do things in my own strength, but I am so thankful that God is strong in my weakness. Multiple times at Bible clubs over the past week, I've seen God directly answer prayers for peace, for children to be quiet and listen, for our teaching to be clear, for attitudes to be transformed, and for children to be saved. God is a God at hand and not far off. He is the One at work, and I am privileged to be part of what He is doing here at Operation IMPACT."

I still don't know if I can put into words how wonderful it was to be there, to learn what I learned, and to experience what I experienced. Therefore, I'll try to just share a few telling snap-shots.

We were nearing the end of week-one of teaching clubs. My team had pulled together and was doing a great job encouraging one-another, but all we had at our club were very young children and none of my team members had yet had the opportunity to talk with any of them about salvation. I asked the other team leaders in our morning meeting to pray that my team would not get discouraged and the girl who prayed went one step farther, asking God for a child to come and ask questions after the Bible lesson that day! One did!!!!! She was young, a little confused, but she has questions, she was thinking, and one of my girls got to talk with her and share God's Word with her!!!!!  God answers specific prayer!

My brain hurt. I was tired. The day had been super hectic, extremely long, hot and humid, and discouraging. Climbing into the van with my team to drive back "home" I could tell that we were all starting to get a little down and our conversation was showing it. Remembering something I had learned in my training, I started the engine and called out, "Everybody tell me five things that you are thankful for, starting in the back!" It took a moment or two to really get everyone's wheels turning, but by the time we got to the front of the van and it was my turn the people in the back were clamoring for another turn! We spent the entire 15-minute drive home naming off ever so many things that we were thankful to God for just as fast as could be. How did we feel when we arrived? Energized!!!!!!

"Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days." - Ecclesiastes 11:1 Our team had been encouraging one-another that our purpose is not to save children. We can't. Our calling is to faithfully tell the Good News, and that is what we were doing. 
It was the very last day of club and my team was doing our middle-of-the-day club at one of the local Community Centers. That day three boys said "Yes" to Jesus!!!! Problem, none of them had Bibles. Second problem, I had decided to leave the Bibles behind that day in favor of a little more space for props in our little car-trunk (oh me of little faith!). Solution! Our wonderful cook was going to be able to drive out and bring us three Bibles!!! Hooray! 
Problem, two of the boys are leaving and the Bible's aren't here yet.... *sigh*  We said good-bye and went back into the building. 30 seconds later one of my team-mates runs up to me, "Joanna, the Bibles are here!" Out the door the two of us run, meeting the van in the parking lot. We can see the boys rounding the corner of the neighboring school building as we reach out eager hands to receive the Bibles extended towards us through the open driver's window. Each of us grabs a Bible and takes off running for the quickly disappearing boys and their older brothers. We catch up, breathless, panting, but triumphantly waving the promised Bibles. The older boys give us quizzical, clueless looks, but the radiant smiles on their younger brother's faces far out-shine them. And perhaps, perhaps they'll wonder what in the world is so special about those books to make two grown girls sprint across two big parking lots looking like wild maniacs just to be able to deliver them to their younger brothers. And perhaps, perhaps they'll be curious enough to read the books themselves and find out....

Quick statistics: 357 children reached, the gospel presented over 180 times, 30 Bibles and New Testaments given out, 119 children counseled, and 36 children brought to Christ during the course of Operation IMPACT!

Thank YOU for praying!

Is It Worth It For Just One?

Getting up early, going to bed late, pouring out more enthusiasm and energy than you thought possible in one day, praying, and praying, making tough decisions, choosing to rejoice, being creative, speaking truth -- every day -- for two-plus weeks, and finishing up absolutely drained emotionally, physically, mentally, and possibly spiritually as well.
Is it really worth it?

If one person becomes a child of God, it is worth every last breath inside of me!

"Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth."  - Luke 15:10

God has given me the privilege of going to help for two weeks in partnering with churches to teach Bible-clubs to the children in their neighborhoods, and to help connect the children's families with the churches! This a wonderful opportunity to spread the good news of Jesus as well as a great chance for me to be challenged, stretched, and to grow in my walk with the Lord.

I ask that you all would pray for the team that I will be working with. Please ask God to unite our hearts in love for Him. My desire is that we would be a group of people who are humble before our God, vessels that He would be pleased to bring Himself glory through.
Also, please pray for the churches that we will be partnering with, the children that we will be teaching, and the family of each child. May Satan be bound, ears and hearts opened, Truth spoken, and Jesus Christ believed and accepted!

This trip is scheduled to be from Tuesday, June 28th through Sunday, July 17th. As I have been thinking and praying in preparation, these are the verses that have come to mind.

"He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
Thou hast also given me the shield of Thy salvation: and Thy right hand hath holden me up, and Thy gentleness hath made me great.
Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip." - Psalm 18:34-36

My first reaction to my invitation to participate in this outreach was uncertainty and fear. "Can I really do this...well?"  "What if a situation comes up and I have no idea what decision to make?" And so many other questions....  God reminded me through this passage that it is He that is working through me. He gives me all that I need, is holding me up, and is gentle with me.  

"...let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1b-2

These verses reminded me of where to focus. Jesus saw past His "light affliction" that was "but for a moment". Not only did He look past it, He embraced every part of it focusing on the joyous result!

"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." - 1 Corinthians 15:10

What a wonderful place to rest! It is God who works in us, both to will, and to do, His good pleasure!

Sacrifice

A couple of things that I have been pondering...

1 Corinthians 16:13-14
"Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quilt you like men, be strong.
Let all your things be done with love."

This poem by Amy Carmichael:
"Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,

The hope no disappointments tire,

The passion that will burn like fire,

Let me not sink to be a clod:

Make me Thy fuel flame of God."

May it be true of you and me that "Christ is all, and in all." - Colossians 3:11

God has been showing me more and more that my life is not worth living unless it is being lived as a sacrifice to Him. He has been showing me more of the depths of His love, His sacrifice. And, if God so loved me, what can I give, but my all.

Another thing, I have been reading through the books of Samuel, Kings, and  Chronicles these past few weeks and I have been pondering what David said after he had numbered the people, God punished him by sending the plague, and then showed mercy and stopped the destroying angel when it reached Jerusalem. David went out to build an alter and sacrifice a thanksgiving offering to God at the place where the angel stopped. The man who owned the spot was going to give it to David along with the wood needed and the animals for the sacrifice. David insisted on buying it saying, "neither will I offer burnt offerings unto the Lord my God of that which doth cost me nothing." 

The idea of an offering costing me something. I was challenged to take a step up, do not offer God what is easy...if it is easy, do I really mean it? is it really for Him? or is it, in reality, actually for me?

Thinking more, when I deeply love someone I delight in expending a great cost, whether it be in time, energy, money, etc., in order to give them an extraordinary gift that shows my love, my gratefulness for them....ought it not to be the same with God, my dearest Love? I want my offering to Him to cost me something because I love Him, so much!

At the same time, "the spirit truly is willing, but the flesh is week."  So I watch and pray. He who sees the heart, knows the desires, thoughts, and intents of man. The LORD is my helper!

So I have been thinking, what can I offer God that costs me something? 

It is not far away, that I cannot reach it. It is near me, in my mouth, mind, and heart. It costs me to say no to pleasant daydreams as I gaze up at the sky and instead to spend that time in prayer. It costs me to smile, to speak a loving word when I would rather remain silent because I am feeling out of sorts. It costs me, even, to say no to sweet treats and staying up late - because I know that it is not the wisest choice. It costs me to always greet the person in front of me - whether they acknowledge me or not....to simply be the fragrance of Christ. Yet, does it really cost me? In this selfish moment, yes. But, when I look back from next year, or in five years even, I will see it as it is - just a light affliction, but for a moment, that has given me an exceeding, eternal weight in glory! And I feel that, as I get into the habit of offerings by saying "no" to self and "yes" to Jesus, I will not even see the cost anymore, all I will know is the sweet fellowship of walking every step with Him.

May the one desire, the one delight of our hearts be Him!

In All Seriousness...

Who are you serving???? Or, What are you serving?

The other day I heard a message from Ecclesiastes (I know, kind of an unlikely book...) that got me thinking about discipline again. I say "again" because discipline is something that keeps popping back up in my thoughts/life. Therefore my thoughts have been going something like this:

What is my god?

Is it myself? My self-image, my self-esteem, my reputation? Is it to be perfectly disciplined in speech, thought, habit, eating, etc.? Discipline is a good thing, but has it become my god? 

 WHY do I want to be disciplined in this area, or that area? What is my motive?

Is it so that others will praise me? I know that my Father has something to say about that. He says in Matthew 6 that if I am doing what I do in order to be noticed by others, I have no reward from Him! Is it to boost my self-esteem? To prove something to someone, to myself?
Or, is it truly because my deepest desire is to glorify God in my body and in my spirit, which are God's? (1Corinthians 6:20)

 What (who?) am I seeking? 

 Am I seeking to please men or God? Am I seeking success? Fulfillment? A name? Recognition? Popularity? Personal ambition? Or God? In other words, is my heart pure? "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." - Matthew 5:8

Where/in what are my expectations? 

In myself? My parents? Family? Friends? Employer? Strength? Wits? Brain power? Wisdom? God?

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him." - Psalm 62:5

What are the most important things? 

Not, what do I currently think to be the most important things, but, what are the most important things? Always have been, always will be -- most important things?

"And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, To keep the commandments of the Lord, and His statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?" - Deuteronomy 10:12-13

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" - Micah 6:8

^"And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
³⁰ And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
³¹ And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." - Mark 12:29-31

For me this all boils down to, love God, and keep loving God!!!! What a joyful prospect!  Though I cannot do it apart from Him (John 15:4-5), with Him it is a joyous journey!  It is a wonderful thought to remember that my Father is waiting for me to ask Him for help, to come to Him quickly, humbly, knowing how much He loves me, and allow Him to work in me, through me. Stop fighting, and rest. *Ahhhh...* 
He only......

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.
⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation: He is my defence; I shall not be moved.
⁷ In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
⁸ Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
⁹ Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity.
¹⁰ Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart upon them.
¹¹ God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.
¹² Also unto Thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for Thou renderest to every man according to his work." - Psalm 62:5-12


  "Our soul waiteth for the Lord: He is our help and our shield.
²¹ For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name.
²² Let Thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in Thee."  - Psalm 33:20-22

 

Guard your Joy

What in the 

WORLD 

is going on Here??!?!!????

Have you ever felt that way?  Me too. This past month or so has been a rather foggy, blurry, dizzying, sometimes discouraging, mess (?) -- with many unknowns. The good news is that through it all, God has been teaching me more about the things that are in my heart and helping me to work through them and draw closer to Him!

These past few days I have been realizing that I need not let my circumstances, the things that I see with my eyes, not knowing what the future holds, not knowing exactly how to respond to the present ---  to steal His joy in my heart and life!

"Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
   and my will be lost in Thine."
               - from the hymn Draw Me Nearer


Sometimes it is painfully easy to make life inordinately complicated. I know that I fall into this trap at times. Going back to the basics: Love God with all of my heart, love my neighbor as I love myself. It's just that simple, and just that hard. The joy comes in knowing that it is God who is doing this work in and through me. By humility and surrender, consistently living my life for Him, He works through me though I am usually oblivious to what He is doing as He goes about it.
I find my joy in loving and serving Him each day, He is faithful to work out His plan through me, in me, and around. Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether I understand or not, whether things appear foggy, confusing, frustrating, pointless...or whatever... My King is on the Throne and He works all things together for my good.

"Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."   - 1 Peter 5:7

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father...Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."  - Matthew 10:29 & 31

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit."  - Romans 15:13

New Beginnings

Papa, what am I gonna say. Broken lives, broken promises, a prideful heart, foolish mistakes. Mercy. Forgiveness. Redemption. You may think that I put those words in a specific order, I didn't. You may think that I ponder things and work out answers and thoughts ever so carefully, I don't. Usually, I feel like I just slop things on a page, whatever happens to be at the forefront of my mind, in the top of my heart at the moment. Often I wish that I would ask God what He wants me to say before I write but I most often forget, just like now, I foolishly think of me and say, What am I gonna say? Therefore, let us begin again, with God first. Abba, what shall we talk about and think on today?

"The LORD's mercies...are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

"For we do not present our supplications before Thee for our righteousness, but for Thy great mercies." - Daniel 9:18b

"So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runeth, but of GOD that showeth mercy." - Romans 9:16

"He is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with Him are called, and chosen, and faithful." - Revelation 17:14b

Every morning my Father extends renewed mercy to me. I can will, and I can run, and I can fail BUT

"When I said, My foot slippeth; Thy mercy, O LORD, held me up." - Psalm 94:18

I am so thankful that with God there is always forgiveness, comfort, mercy, and help. Repentance is a wonderful thing, and new beginnings.

"In the multitude of my thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul." - Psalm 94:19

As this new year began the first thing God started talking to me about was His mercy. I was asking Him to help me grow mature in love (1 John 4:18) this year and to begin the process the things that are hindrances must go....I always seem to forget that that's the first step. Pruning is painful, but the joy, the freedom, the fresh start that it brings makes it so very worth the pain.

"My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of His correction: For whom the LORD loveth He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." - Proverbs 3:11-12

What a blessing to know that even as my Father is correcting me, I am a delight to Him. I can't quite wrap my mind around that, but it is a comfort that delights my soul!

Scattered thoughts of Miracles and Love

Some of you have heard about my youngest brother, who crashed his bicycle and broke his skull. He had his final follow-up appointment this past week and this is what the doctor said: "You know, we're all just kind of nonchalant about it, but you are a miracle." *Wow* We have been saying that, but to hear it from the doctor's own mouth is amazing! When he first went into the ICU all of the medical personnel were telling us, this will be a long road, we don't know how much brain damage he sustained. And the doctor was saying, I've seen a lot of these cases with young guys, in six months he should be up and around, maybe a slight limp, almost back to normal! (Us: *choke!!!* Six Months!!!!)
It has been a mere Three and One-Half months since his accident and we have been seeing God do miracles the whole way through! Praise His Holy Name!!!!!!!

I read Psalm 136 earlier this past week and I understood it in a different way than I have before. The latter half of every verse say, "for His mercy endures forever." As I was reading through it I started to realize that every verse is saying, "God did this. Why? Because His mercy towards us is forever!" Twenty-two times in a row, twenty-two different things that God has done, and what is the reason? Simply because His mercy is boundless, unmatchable,infinite, unexplainable, immeasurable, and unending! That's just Who my Daddy Is! I heard a new term for Him recently, and after pondering it, I like it. He has, Scandalous Love!!! That He would love me, that much.

As we are all rejoicing here I can't help but also remember the long, hard, days and night along the way to get here. There was a lot of heart-pain involved, especially while we were waiting for him to wake up...we didn't know if he ever would; or if he did, would his mind be functioning; if it was, how much? It is not exactly fun to remember those days, but they were good days. Days of learning to trust, to say yes, to rest peacefully knowing that God was doing whatever was going to bring Him the most Glory, and whatever was the very best for each one of us.

Something a missionary from India, to Tibet and India, said at one time when he was here in the States speaking has served as a bit of a rebuke to me:

"America is already a Christian nation. But although America has many sincere Christians, the majority of the people here have no religion. Here, where it is easy to have religion, where religion is offered on every side, and no one is persecuted for being a Christian, life should be happy and peaceful because of Christianity. But it is not. Instead, there is a hustle and bustle after money and comfort and pleasure, and that all clouds out thoughts of religion. Because it is so easy to have faith in this country, Americans do not appreciate what a comfort there is in religion. At one time the ostrich could fly, but because it did not ever use its wings, it lost its ability to do so. Just so, the people here who do not appreciate the religious faith of their fathers shall lose it."            - Sundar Singh

What this said to me is this: take more time to meditate. Go out and just enjoy being alone together with God. Not thinking my thoughts, dreaming my dreams, worrying my worries. No, enjoy Him, Who He Is!

Jesus Himself

Faint with the heat and the length of the road; 
I was oppressed with a wearisome load;
One came, so tenderly saying to me:
"Give Me thy load, 'tis too heavy for thee"

Jesus Himself,
Jesus Himself!

I was so poor, not a penny had I,
Clothing, or food for the journey to buy;
One came and whispered; "Leave that to My care;
Wealth of a kingdom with thee will I share."

Jesus Himself,
Jesus Himself!

I was so lonely for lack of a friend,
One came and offered me love without end.
Love that is mighty to strengthen and save,
Love that can triumph o'er death and the grave!

Jesus Himself,
Jesus Himself!

What tho the valleys be many and deep, 
What if the pathway be stony or steep;
Mountain or moorland, or valley of death:
"I will be with thee", my Comforter saith.

Jesus Himself,
Jesus Himself!